


Resident Army Brat

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Army brat!Clarke, F/F, Private!Lexa, and they spar with one and other, there are talks about torture and violence but it is brief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is the resident Army brat, who is also training to be an army doctor, and Lexa is a new, damaged private who was recently transferred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resident Army Brat

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I will probably write a second part of this but that might not be for a little while yet. I haven't been very confident in my writing recently so I've kind of not been writing at all. But I forced myself to write this which is why I think I'm not very happy with it...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and if you have any questions you can ask me on tumblr Thatoneloser-kid.tumblr.com

The thing about being an army brat (and Clarke would be the first person to admit that that was just what she was) was that you got used to moving around.

That didn't mean she liked it, it was lonely, the constant moving, the never forming any solid roots, any solid bonds with anyone other than her parents. She didn't like it but she got used to it.

Her father was a Sargent Major and her mother was one of the best army doctors there was, she has never really _had_  a choice but to move around with them (she did spend those six months with her grandmother who immediately sent her back to her parents when she caught Clarke in bed with the neighbors daughter).

It did mean she got to travel the world, she had been to more countries in her nineteen years then most people would see in a life time, she learnt how to defend herself by the age of fourteen and was a pro with a gun by sixteen. She could drive a jeep and a motorbike, parachute, spar with and disarm someone, speak multiple languages, and probably kill someone twice her size with her bare hands by the age of eighteen.

She had learned _a lot_  from being an army brat and she didn't know any other way of living so she couldn't miss or yearn for anything more.

She had moved to the base in Kenya at the end of September and had met Raven and Octavia the night she moved.

Raven was one of the best engineer in the army (she was a solider but got shot in the spine and was injured beyond repair. But they didn't want to get rid of her so when they found out she worked as a mechanic growing they took her on and taught her what little she didn't know.) and Octavia was one of the top soldiers at the base. For the first time ever she had friends her age and, God, it was nice to be able to laugh and joke around with someone who wouldn't turn her jokes into a lecture about her future (her mother had a real nack for that).

She had been at the base for a little over a month when she first spotted Lexa. She was in the mess hall with Octavia and Raven, all of them on a break from their respective jobs, when Lexa walked in with a woman and man Clarke had see around before. She figured Lexa must have been new, she would definitely have remembered her if she had seen her around.

"Who's that?"

Both Raven and Octavia turned around, and Clarke was thankful neither Lexa or her friends were looking over.

"Which one?" Octavia asked.

"Yeah, you want to bang everyone so any one of them could be your next victim." Raven teased, laughing when Clarke kicked her non-braced shin.

"The girl in the middle."

"That's Woods." Octavia answered, "The other girl is her cousin, also Woods, and the boy with them is Oaks."

"She new?"

"Nah, she just transferred from a base in Chad, she was off on medical leave for the past year or so."

"How do you know that?" Raven frowned.

"I'm friends with Lincoln. Oaks." Octavia shrugged. "He didn't tell me what actually happened to her but apparently it was bad. She wasn't badly injured, like physically, but whatever happened really messed with her head."

"She looks ok," Clarke commented as she watched the girl grin at something her friend said.

"Yeah, half of the soldiers where look ok but in reality, they aren't." Raven said with a nonchalant shrug and Clarke couldn't help but think of the brace the engineer sported, a brace that helped with the injury that effectively ended her combat career. Clarke could _see_  that battle wound, but she had never through about how Raven's mind might have been affected by it all.

"She's a talented soldier, though, so they wanted her back out on the field as soon as possible."

"Is she healthy enough to be out there?"

Octavia shrugged as she stabbed her fork into the little hot dog she was eating. "I mean, she has to be, right? If they've cleared her without her being healthy enough that's not only putting herself in danger but her team."

"My mom didn't clear her, and god knows what the doctors at the Chad base are like."

"I'm sure she's fine. I mean, what could've really happened? She's probably suffering from a little PTSD, like every other person here." Raven shrugged nonchalantly and Clarke wanted to tell her that that wasn't normal, they _shouldn't_  be suffering and they should probably say something but before she could she felt a tap on her shoulder.

When she looked up her mom was standing there, looking unimpressed. It was then Clarke realised she was almost half an hour late for work.

* * *

 

Clarke didn't meet Lexa until a month and a half after she had first seen her. She had seen her around, been caught staring and caught Lexa staring back but other than lingering looks and shy smiled they hadn't really interacted.

Until Lexa showed up at the medical wing one night Clarke was hanging around there. Octavia and Raven were out on patrol and Clarke had nothing better to do.

"Woods," her mom called and Clarke perked up, her head shooting up just as Lexa slipped behind the curtain, her eyes lingering on Clarke before she addressed Abby.

"Doctor Griffin," she greeted with a single nod, handing Abby a little orange pill bottle.

"Take a seat, Lexa, we have to check your blood pressure and take some blood to ensure these aren't building up in your system." Abby smiled at Lexa, handing the bottle off to Clarke to have them filled.

Clarke turned the bottle over in her palm to get a look at label.

_'Alexandria Woods. Venlafaxine. One to be taken three times a day'_

Clarke knew of those tablets but they treated such a vast range of things; from panic disorder to anxiety to depression.

"So, Lexa, how have you been feeling?" Abby asked as Clarke busied herself finding the pills in the cabinet.

"Fine, I'm glad to be back in action." Lexa answered, sounding almost rehearsed as she spoke.

"And the panic attacks?"

"Much less frequent, those pills are really helping." Lexa offered, holding her left arm out to Abby for her to take her blood pressure.

"Okay, your blood pressure is a little high, one-thirty over ninety-one but that's normal when taking these drugs. Your heart rate is normal. How do you feel like you are holding up, physically? Do you feel any loss of strength?"

"A little but I just figured that was down to me being out of action for a while."

"That could be it," Abby agreed and Clarke turned around with the filled prescription bottle to see Lexa looking over at her, her eyes searching Clarke's for something. For what, Clarke wasn't sure. "If it persists come back and see me, okay? Clarke, can you get the supplies read to take private Woods' blood."

Clarke nodded, grabbing the tourniquet, collection tubes, rubbing alcohol, and a cotton ball, setting it all on the tray beside the bed as her mom got up.

Clarke threaded the needle through the holder as Lexa watched apprehensively.

"Not afraid of needles, are you?" Clarke asked lightly, looking at Lexa through her eyelashes as she picked up the tourniquet.

"No, my back is covered in tattoos." Lexa answered, holding out her left arm again, allowing Clarke to slide the tourniquet up to her bicep, her fingers gently brushing the skin of Lexa's arm, the skin there prickling at the contact. "Now, the sight of my blood coming out of my body, that I'm not a fan of."

"Well, don't worry too much." Clarke flashed Lexa a smile as she pulled the tourniquet tight, giving Lexa's vein a little tap. "I won't take enough blood to kill you."

"You won't take any at all." Abby interrupted, sitting down in front of Lexa, picking up the cotton ball and soaking it in alcohol before rubbing it over Lexa's vein. "I will get these tested and find out how you body is responding to the drugs."

Lexa bobbed her head, flexing her fingers a few times at Abby readied the needle at her vein. Lexa lifted her eyes to look at Clarke over Abby's shoulder, a little smile appearing on her lips when she noticed the girl was now sporting a headband with what looked like binoculars attached, reminding her a lot of the night vision goggles they used on missions. Clarke had a little grin on her face as she flip the binoculars up, out of her eyes.

It wasn't until Lexa felt the little nip of the needle piercing her skin did she really realise what Clarke was doing, she was trying to distract Lexa from getting her blood drawn, like doctors would do with little kids.

Clarke looked a little smug when Lexa narrowed her eyes at her, her eyebrow kinking as she whirled around and began cleaning up the mess she had left from filling up Lexa's prescription.

"I'm going to go get these labelled and sent to the lab. Just leave whenever you're ready." Abby got up and left again and Clarke turned back to Lexa with a roll of plaster in her hand.

"Are you a doctor?" Lexa asked, allowing Clarke to cover the cotton ball with plaster to keep it in place.

"Almost, I'm training."

"And is she your mentor?" Lexa bent and extended her elbow as she got off the bed.

"Mom, actually."

"Ah, you are our resident army brat."

"Resident _and_  favourite army brat." Clarke corrected, drawing a little huffed out laugh from Lexa.

"And only army brat," Lexa commented, pulling on her jacket, fixing the collar. "Thank you, almost doctor."

"See you around, private." Clarke gave Lexa a half asses two fingered salute, the corner of her lip hooking up into a smile when Lexa snorted a laugh, drawing back the curtain, giving Clarke one last smile before leaving.

* * *

 

Clarke didn't speak to Lexa again until ten days later.

She couldn't sleep one night and snuck out of her room to go to the gym like she always would when she was restless (against her parents wishes but what they didn't know).

She could hear punched being laid into the punchbag before she even reached the bottom of the stairs. She almost turned around but she was curious, she had never ran into anyone this late before.

It was a girl laying punches into the bag, her back was to Clarke, her hair pulled up into a half-asses bun and she was wearing a black wife beater and a pair of black sleep shorts. Clarke spotted the end of what looked like wing tattoos peaking out of the wife beater and down the back of her triceps. She had her earphones in so she didn't hear Clarke enter the gym.

Clarke made her way over to her, tentatively touching the soldier's shoulder and in a second she was spun around, her back hitting the nearby wall with a thud, knocking the wind out of her, Lexa's arm pressing against her neck. The hardness, the aggression in Lexa's eyes dissolved when she realised it was Clarke. When she realised she wasn't in danger.

Clarke held her hands up, "It's only me." She spoke softly, watching as Lexa came a little more out of the little daze she had been in. She obviously acted on instinct, it's what she had been taught to do when someone snuck up on her, but the look in her face when she realised she had pinned Clarke up against the wall was something of regret and worry.

"Clarke, I-" Lexa hurried to drop her arm, backing away from Clarke, her chest heaving. "You really shouldn't sneak up on people."

"Sorry, you had your head phones in." Clarke slowly dropped her hands, taking a step closer to Lexa. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lexa assured, running her hands over her glistening face before motioning to Clarke. "Sorry, about that."

"Nah, it's my bad. I should know better than to sneak up on a soldier." Clarke shrugged, watching Lexa carefully as she made her way over to her water bottle.

"I'll leave you to it," Lexa said.

"No, it's fine, we can both work out, right?" Clarke offered and Lexa gave her a simple nod as she uncapped her bottle. "What are you doing here, Woods?"

"I could ask you want same thing," Lexa arched an eyebrow at Clarke as she tilted her head back and took a drink of her water.

"You could," Clarke agreed, her head tilting to the left as she watched the way Lexa's throat bobbed as she gulped down her water. "Or you could answer my question?"

Lexa smiled as she wiped her mouth, capping her bottle. "I couldn't sleep. And like you heard the other week, I'm feeling a little weaker than I usually do, I need to get my strength back."

"You realise that's not how it works, right?" Clarke said, "You can push and push but muscles and strength can only develop so fast. The only thing you are going to achieve from pushing yourself is injuring yourself."

"I'm fine."

Clarke nodded, moving to sit on one of the rowing machines, gently rolling back and forth of the seat. "And the lack of sleep, is that a regular occurrence?"

" _Almost_  doctor, remember?" Lexa arched a challenging eyebrow at Clarke. "If you don't want me to leave then stop acting like a doctor."

"I'm worried about you."

"You don't know me."

"Doesn't matter," Clarke shot back.

"Why are you here?"

"I couldn't sleep, thought I would come here and tire myself out." Clarke shrugged. "I do it often, I've never bumped into someone before."

"I was only planning on staying for another half hour or so."

"That's fine, just don't leave on my accord."

Lexa nodded sharply, dropping her water bottle and moving back over to the punchbag.

Clarke stretched by the rowing machine, glancing over at Lexa a little too often for her own liking (though, she did catch Lexa looking back a few times). Over the next hour they didn't speak, Lexa alternating between the punch bag and treadmill while Clarke stuck to the rowing machine, taking every opportunity she could to sneak a few peaks at Lexa (who knew she found tattoos sexy? Not her, at least until now).

Clarke stopped after the hour, wiping her brow with her towel as she got off the machine. "Woods," she addressed the woman currently running on the treadmill, waiting for her to stop running and look at her before speaking again. "I'm going to head back," she said, slinging her towel over her shoulders. "You should too."

Lexa glanced down at her watch, looking a little surprised when she noticed the time.

"Yeah," she panted. "Yeah, I will."

"Come on, then." Clarke nodded her head toward the door with a playful little smile. "I'll walk you home."

"What a gent," Lexa murmured sarcastically, rolling her eyes when Clarke held the door open for her.

"I wanted to be an artist," Clarke commented as they made their way to the barracks. "Growing up, it was what I wanted to do. The only time I ever went to school was when I was fifteen for half a year, that's the first time I was introduced to art and I just fell in love with it. Ever since then it had always been something that helped me relax, helped me ground myself when things got tough."

Lexa gripped onto her watched bottle, tilting her head curiously at Clarke. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I want you to trust me, and I know for you to do that I would have to tell you something personal about myself." Clarke shrugged.

"I'm fine, Clarke. I have been cleared for action."

"There's a difference between being okay and being cleared, Woods." Clarke said as they came to a stop outside the barracks. "But just keep that in mind, okay? You can trust me. As a _friend_  not a doctor."

"Goodnight, almost-doctor Griffin."

* * *

 

Clarke saw Lexa around the camp but they didn't really speak. Clarke was either working or with Octavia and Raven, or Lexa was in the middle of training or a drill.

They talked a lot more when they would run into each other at the gym late at night. They would talk as they trained, about anything that didn't upset them, some personal things, and then Clarke would walk Lexa back to the barracks.

And that was fine, it was comforting, until one day Clarke showed up and Lexa was going particularly hard on the punchbag. Clarke had learned that that meant one of two things; she either and a mission coming up or she had a particularly bad dream. They never talked about Lexa's dream, Lexa would just state that she had a bad dream and they would drop it, Clarke decided she was going to ask about it next time.

"You got a mission coming up?" She asked casually as she strolled over to the mats to stretch.

"Nah," Lexa answered, groaning as she threw fist after first at the leather bag. "Bad dream."

Clarke nodded, "How about you hit something that can fight back?"

Lexa stopped, catching the bag as it swung back at her and looking at Clarke over her shoulder. "You want to spar? With a soldier?"

"Yeah, come on, it will be fun." Clarke took her padded, leather gloves from her back pocket and pulled them on.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," Lexa said carefully, watching Clarke attentively as she sauntered over to her, stopping when she was toe to toe with Lexa.

"Why? Afraid you might lose?"

Lexa rolled her eyes, "First to pin wins?"

Clarke nodded, swinging a punch at Lexa, which she easily caught.

Clarke back hit the mat with a soft thump, it probably would've been harder and more painful if Lexa hadn't lowered her a little more gently than she usually would have done.

"You wanna talk about it?" Clarke asked as Lexa settled her knee softly against her chest. "Your dream, what's causing you to have bad dream. I wouldn't mind listening."

"No," Lexa answered shortly, standing up and fixing the padded gloves she was wearing.

Clarke nodded and hopped to her feet, anticipating Lexa's left and right hooks, ducking under her right arm and sending an almost playful jab into the soldiers side.

Lexa looked surprised, gawping at Clarke as she bounced on her toes and smirked. "What? You aren't going to talk to me so I'm not gonna go easy on you."

"Did you really just play the whole 'I'm a weak woman' and _let_  me pin you?"

"You say that like that's a bad thing." Clarke cocked her head to the side and wiggled her middle and ring finger at Lexa. "Come on then, big shot, prove to me you are as good as people say."

"If I hurt you you can't go running to daddy," Lexa teased but Clarke's grin didn't falter as she easily blocked the three punched Lexa threw, leaning back to dodge the fourth punch, using Lexa's own momentum as she grabbed her arm and pushed her to the left, giving her a playful little thump on the back with the heel of her hand.

"I wouldn't worry about that, private."

So they started sparring and, to Lexa's surprised, Clarke matched her blow for blow. Blocking and dodging Lexa's hits just as easier as Lexa dodged hers. It was a good few minutes before Lexa managed to back Clarke up against a wall, both of them panting as Lexa gently pressed her forearm against Clarke's collarbones.

"I gotta say, princess, you can definitely fight." Lexa said and Clarke's lips pulling up into a little smile, her hands holding onto Lexa's arm.

"I grew up in army bases, I could fight almost as soon as I could walk." Clarke offered, her head falling back against the wall as she stared over at Lexa, giving her arm a little squeeze. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Lexa dropped her arm and started pulling the gloves off.

"It can't be good for your mental health to keep it all bottled up." Clarke argued, pushing herself off the wall and following Lexa as made her way over to where her water bottle was, tucking her gloves into her back pocket.

"And it wouldn't be good for yours if I told you."

"I can handle it,"

"You grew up on army _bases_ ," Lexa started, wheeling around to look at Clarke. "That is completely different from growing up in the army. You stay on site, you don't go out and fight, you don't see what we see, you aren't exposed to-" Lexa trailed off, her jaw twitching from side to side before levelling Clarke a warning look. "Back off, Clarke."

"Okay," Clarke held her hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Okay, backing off."

"Thank you," Lexa huffed. "Now, since you have ruined my exercising mood I'm going to leave."

"I care about you, you know?" Clarke said just as Lexa reached the door, causing the girl to stall in her movements. "And I _want_  to hear about it, Lexa. And I know you want to talk about it, you _need_  to talk about it because it is eating away at you. And you act like you are ok, and maybe you are in the day light but once it's night time, once you are _alone_ , it all gets to much for you. You have these dream, dreams that keep you awake at night, dreams that have you afraid of _going to sleep_." Clarke slowly made her way over to Lexa as she spoke. "You might think I won't be able to handle it but I would. You could tell me anything, I could handle it _and_  it would _never_  change the way I look at you."

Lexa swallowed, looking at Clarke over her shoulder with slightly dampened eyes. "Back off, Griffin."

Clarke simple nodded at that, and that seemed to cause all of the tension on Lexa's body to just drop away. Clarke gently tugged at Lexa's arm, turning her around so she could pull the girl in for a hug.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as Lexa buried her face in her neck. "I just wanted to make sure you are okay."

Lexa merely nodded, her arms wrapping securely around Clarke back, her fingers fanning out across her ribs.

"Just so we are clear," Lexa murmured. "I totally one that sparring season, right?"

"Sure," Clarke shrugged as they parted, a little smirk appearing on her lips. "Because I let you."

"Oh, bullshit," Lexa scoffed as she watched Clarke move to pick up her water bottle before heading back to the door. "No, really. Bullshit, right?"

Clarke just winked at Lexa as she brushed passed her.

"If you think you can beat me then fight properly next time," Lexa said, scrambled up the stairs to fall into step beside Clarke. "There's nothing more attractive than a girl who can hold her own."

So they started sparring after that. Lexa showing Clarke some of the things she had been taught and Clarke showing Lexa some of the things her father had taught her. It was nice, playfully, and both girls would agree that there was worse ways to spend your time than being thrown onto a gross mat by a pretty girl.

_("You remember when I said there was nothing more attractive than a girl who could hold her own?" Lexa said with a little groan, getting up from the mat Clarke had just thrown her on to. "That is still true but, fuck, does it hurt.")_

Clarke was glad Raven and Octavia were too wrapped up in each other (young, secret love, eh?) because she really didn't want to deal with the questions as to _why_  she was so sleepy all the time. Or why she was like a meerkat for most of their meals, peering over everyone to look for Lexa because, goddamnit, she had a crush on one of her father's soldiers.

He had warned her about it, telling her the boys here were off limits (then added that the girls were, too, when she got sent away from her grandmothers house for getting caught sleaping with a girl) so Clarke had never even entertained the idea of liking one of the soldiers. Until now.

Until Lexa.

"Clarke," her moms calm her stern voice startled her out of her little daze. "We have a patient coming in. Woods. Multiple GSW's, she has lost a lot of blood, prep the trauma kit and get some A+ blood ready."

"Wait, Woods?" Clarke asked, but still done exactly as her mother told her.

"Yes, Woods. Anya Woods."

Clarke felt awful for feeling the slightest bit of relief at that. That it wasn't Lexa who was hurt. But it was Lexa's cousin and they had to save her.

It was chaos as soon as Anya arrive, everyone rushing about her to prep her for surgery and Lexa, rightly so, didn't want to leave her cousins side but Clarke also knew she couldn't come into the operating theatre.

"Lexa, you can't come in here." She said, gently pressing her hands against Lexa's stomach. Lexa peered over her shoulder, trying to keep an eye on Anya.

"Clarke," she whispered, looking at Clarke with eyes filled with tears she refuse to let fall. "You gotta save her, Clarke."

"We will, but you have to leave and go wait in the medical wing."

And they did save her, just barely (they lost her once) but she was alive and well (minus the holes in her body).

Clarke had gone for a shower after the surgery and when she returned Lexa was at Anya's bedside.

"Hey," Clarke announced, knowing better than to sneak up on Lexa. "She's going to be okay."

"Thank you,"

"It wasn't me," Clarke motioned toward the door where all the other doctors were. "It was them."

"You were a part of it, you helped." Lexa lifted her eyes to look at Clarke. "You saved her life."

Clarke shrugged bashfully, "It's my job."

" _Almost_ ," Lexa said with a tired smile. "But you are going to make an amazing doctor."

Clarke grinned at that, rounding Anya's bed to stand beside Lexa.

"My dad told me what happened, about the ambush." Clarke started carefully. "Are you okay?"

"I wasn't hurt." Lexa replied in a strained voice that told Clarke she knew exactly what Clarke had meant.

"No but it was your first fire fight since you started back."

"It's not gunfire I'm afraid of." Lexa commented. "It's water. What happened to me made me afraid of water."

"How do you shower?" Was Clarke's first question and that make Lexa's chuckle slightly.

"Quickly," Lexa answered. "You were right about everything other than me wanted to talk about it, I don't. But I do  _need_  too. Just not yet, I'm not ready."

"That's okay, I'm here whenever you are ready."

"As a doctor or as a friend?"

"Whatever you need me to be," Lexa nodded, smiling up at Clarke when she gave her shoulder a little squeeze. "Do you need me to bring you anything?"

"Nah, I actually have a briefing in a half hour so I can't stay here long."

"Okay, I've got to get back to work." Clarke made her way toward the door, turning back to Lexa just as she reached the other side of Anya's bed. "I don't know if this is completely inappropriate but I'm glad you are okay."

"Inappropriate how?" Lexa questioned.

"Like, I mean," Clarke motioned toward the Anya. "I'm glad you're okay but it's... not good that your cousin got hurt."

"Not good?" Lexa quirked an eyebrow, an amused, tired little smile appearing on her lips.

"You know what I meant,"

"Yeah, and it's not inappropriate."  
  
"I just heard Woods and-" Clarke trailed off, sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth. "I will see you later."

Lexa eyed Clarke curiously, slowly nodding. "Okay."

* * *

 

Clarke could tell Lexa was distracted as they were sparring a few weeks after Anya getting injured. She had managed to pin Lexa five times while Lexa hadn't gotten her once.

She knew something was really up when Lexa just didn't get up after the sixth pin, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees.

"I was captured by rebels in Chad while we were out on a simple patrol," Lexa spoke evenly, almost robotically. Like she was repeating the words but not really feeling the sentiment behind them. "They, uh- they had me for five months."

Clarke slowly lowered herself beside Lexa, careful not to move to quickly incase she scared Lexa away.

"You would be surprised how many torture methods involve water." Lexa looked spaced out as she spoke, and Clarke can't really say she blamed her. She would want to disassociate when talking about it, she wouldn't want to relive five months of _tortured_.

"I could hear screaming, like gut wrenching screams and all I could think was that I had to get free, I had to _help_ whoever that was screaming because if I didn't they were going to die soon." Lexa swallowed thickly, her jaw tensing as she paused. "It took me a good while to realise it was me screaming."

Clarke placed a hand on Lexa's arm to encouraged her to continue.

"Have you ever heard of Chinese water torture?" Clarke slowly shook her head when Lexa turned to look at her. "They tie you up, tight; your wrists, ankles, hips, head, you can't move any part of your body. Then they start slowly dripping water onto your head. That doesn't sound bad but it was the worst thing I've ever been put through. They kept me on the slab for five days, every time I was drifting off to sleep it would hit my head and wake me. I could _see_  the water forming and there was fuck all I could do to stop it. It sounds stupid, it was a drop of goddamn water, but that was what broke me the most."

Clarke could hear a slight waved in Lexa's voice and she almost told Lexa to stop, she didn't _want_  Lexa to relive this, but she also thought that if she did tell her to stop Lexa would think it was scaring her off, a fear Lexa voiced to her before.

"They used waterboarding, dunked me in ice water, pulled my toenails off, electrocuted me," Lexa lifted her arm to show Clarke one of the man scars she was sporting, this one due to being electrocuted. "They put me in this chamber that lowered your oxygen levels to _just_  survivable amounts but I still felt like I couldn't breath, I spent days gasping for every breath. Sometimes I went weeks without sleeping, I honestly thought I was going to die from exhaustion." Lexa rubbed her hands together anxiously, prompting Clarke to slide her fingers in between Lexa's. "It was five months before they found me but I didn't have a window so I didn't really know how long it had been. They were twisted, though, they would put a tiny cut on my back everyday, said it was to let them know when they found my body how long they had had me for, but after a week I was numb to pain that minuscule."

"Why you? You were a private, you didn't know anything of importance."

"Apparently this particular rebel had a beef with one of the navy commanders, they must've found out I was their kid."

"What did your dad do to the rebel?"

"Mom," Lexa corrected. "And she killed his family. So, on some twisted level, I _understand_. I get why he did what he did, she deserved it."

"But _you_ didn't."

"But I didn't." Lexa agreed, her jaw working in a way that told Clarke she was angry.

"I don't know how you pull yourself out of bed in the morning," Clarke admitted quietly. "I have a bad hair day and I don't leave my room."

"Oh, no, if I have a bad hair day I won't get out of bed, that's just too much." Lexa teased, a little grin pulling its way onto her lips as she peered up at Clarke through her eyelashes.

Clarke smiled softly, a little huff escaped her lips as she let her forehead fall against Lexa's shoulder. "You are so brave."

"Everyone here is," Lexa corrected, turning her head to bury her nose in Clarke's hair. "We are over here fighting and we are being told that it's for the freedom of the American citizens but it's not. We are over here fighting to pad out the pockets of rich men. We are here taking the resources, killing their children, and we have the audacity to be mad when they retaliate." Clarke lifted her head so see Lexa looking at her with a solemn look. "Did you know Africa would probably be one of the richest continents on the planet if we didn't come over here and mine their precious metals and take there natural resources? But western countries would never let that happen because they KNOW if they did Africa would have their balls in a vice, and we both know how much America doesn't like not being in charge."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I want to try and help the people here. I know I'm still fighting for a terrible cause, and that makes it hard to sleep at night, but if I can protect an African child from being killed or stop a woman or man from being raped then it will all be worth it."

Clarke let that sink in for a second. Lexa had been tortured, almost killed, been through something that would break most people, yet she came back to fight. She came back to fight for the rights of the people her superiors wouldn't think twice about murdering. She was back risking not only her physical health but her mental health to protect people who could so easily kill her on sight.

"Well, I never thought I would have a heart to heart with the kid of my Sargent Major on sweaty sparring mats." Lexa commented with a little laugh, curling her fingers around her ankles and stretched out her shoulders.

"That's all I am to you, the Sargent Major's daughter?" Clarke asked, a playful little tone to her voice, though she was more serious than she let on.

"Of course not," Lexa sighed. "You are the doctors daughter, too." Lexa teased with a laugh.

"Oh, you think your funny." Clarke said in faux exasperation, falling back onto her back. "That's cute, I bet you didn't think it funny when I knocked you on your ass."

"I see nothing wrong with getting beaten by a strong woman." Lexa shrugged, throwing a smirk over her shoulder. "Kinda sexiest that you thought I would think otherwise."

Clarke rolled her eyes, rolling onto her front and pushing herself up to her feet, groaning when her tired muscles protested against the effort. "We'd better get back before they think you've gone AWOL." Clarke offered Lexa her hand, hauling the girl up when she accepted it.

"This didn't put you off, did it?" Lexa asked carefully when she was standing in front of Clarke. "I know it can really throw people off."

"No. If anything it just turned me more on." Clarke said, a little frown appearing on her face when she realise what she said. She held her finger up with Lexa grinned. "Okay, _yes_ , I realise how that sounded. What I meant was that hearing this, what you went through, it just made me admire you so much more."

Lexa's smile softened for a brief second before it was playful again. "I mean, if I turn you on that's fine."

"Oh, fuck off."

Lexa grinned over at her, taking a step closer to Clarke as she slid her hand up to her neck, her fingers curling around the back of Clarke's neck. "Can I- is this okay?"

Clarke nodded sharply, her hand twisting around Lexa's grey army tee as she pressed herself up against her, their noses brushing together.

Lexa's eyelids fluttered when the skin of their noses first touched, her bottom lip almost quivering as she stared down into Clarke's eyes.

"Your dad would _kill_  me." Lexa whispered but didn't show any indication that she was going to back off.

"Yeah, me too." Clarke breathed, tilting her chin up to connect their lips in a slow, sweet kiss.

The sweetness of the kiss had Lexa smiling against Clarke's lips, her fingers digging into the hair at the base of Clarke's neck.

"What had you distracted today? The thought of telling me what happened or because you wanted to do this?" Clarke asked when they separated.

"Because I was going to tell you what happened. I really had no intention of acting on these feeling because I know your father would have my head on a stick."

"He's not that bad. I mean, it would be easier _not_  telling him but I don't think he would freak out if he knew."

"Let's not risk finding out, hm?" Lexa arched her eyebrows at Clarke, a soft smile playing on her lips, stealing a quick kiss from Clarke before taking a step away from her. "It's late, we should get back."

"Come on and I will walk you home."

They walked in silence, their hands brushing together as their arms swung, causing both girls to grin to themselves.

"See, if this was a normal date and I was walking you home this would be the part where I kissed you good night, promise to call you but wait three days so I don't seem to desperate." Clarke said in a low voice when they reached Lexa's barracks.

"Well, you don't have to wait three days because I know you are desperate." Lexa teased, grinning when Clarke punched her shoulder. Lexa glanced around, making sure no one was around before taking ahold of Clarke's chin and pressing a lingering kiss to her lips. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, can't wait." Clarke replied in a soft, cracked voice, taking a few steps away from Lexa, flashing her a smile before spinning on the balls of her feet and heading over to her sleeping quarters. One's she wishes, not for the first time, that were right next to her mother's and father's room.

 

 


End file.
